| Did evolution begin on Long Island?There
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| | extinct for at least seven and a half
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| is overwhelming evidence suggesting that
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| | billion years. It had no union
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| if you incubate three dozen worms in a
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| | label.)Then, scientists took a worm
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| solution of amino acids and carbon
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| | crawling in the same railroad yard and
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| compounds for approximately one and a
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| | put it under a powerful electron
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| half million years they will eventually
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| | microscope. And behold, they made an
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| evolve into the Long Island Railroad. The
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| | astounding discovery: A worm's cell
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| only problem with this theory is that if
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| | magnified three billion times has an
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| this were true some species of fish would
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| | uncanny resemblance to a train window
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| have a natural tendency to ride the Long
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| | (without the shades).It's quite obvious
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| Island Railroad. But fish have never
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| | that the evidence presented for the
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| actually been observed commuting between
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| | worm-train theory overshadows the
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| Long Island and Manhattan.A group of
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| | somewhat popular but fanatical notion
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| enterprising archaeologists, however,
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| | that trains may have been manufactured by
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| found the missing link to this apparent
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| | intelligent beings. The "intelligent
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| puzzle. Digging through the ruins of an
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| | beings" theory would imply a labor union.
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| old Long Island Railroad yard, they came
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| | So far, none of the trains studied showed
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| across a fossil of a fish believed to be
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| | any traces of major medical benefits,
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| extinct for billions of years. In fact,
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| | pension funds, or sick leave. How such a
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| after taking a radiocarbon reading of the
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| | ridiculous theory even got started is
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| fossil and the brown paper bag it was
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| | hard to imagine. So much for this
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| found in, they confirmed that their find
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| | nonsensical "intelligent beings"
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| dated back to the "big bang," give or
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| | theory.By now you must be saying to
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| take six months. This proves conclusively
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| | yourself, "Well, the evidence for the
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| that prehistoric fish did commute via the
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| | worm-train theory is certainly
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| Long Island Railroad.Now, the question
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| | overwhelming. Any idiot can see its
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| arises, did prehistoric fish commute on
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| | scientific validity. But where did the
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| dry land or did prehistoric trains run
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| | first worm come from?"HOW IT ALL BEGANI'm
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| underwater? No one really knows for sure.
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| | glad you asked. The theory widely
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| But, the famous Dr. Imust Beagenius
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| | accepted by the scientific community and
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| (pronounced I-must Be-a-genius) is
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| | also strongly supported by our famous Dr.
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| grappling with a theory. Dr. Beagenius
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| | Imust Beagenius is the "big bait" theory.
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| suggests that prehistoric fish must have
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| | In the beginning there was a big ball of
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| travelled on dry land. He points out that
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| | fishing hooks. Nature found it rather
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| extensive laboratory tests show that
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| | absurd to have so many fishing hooks
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| railroad tickets are not waterproof.There
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| | without worms. In a few short billions of
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| you have it -- a theory which links fish,
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| | years, worms began to materialize around
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| worms, and the Long Island Railroad. It
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| | the hooks. When the first trout started
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| couldn't be more logical.MORE
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| | biting, nature found it necessary to
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| PROOFUnfortunately, not everyone is that
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| | produce more worms to keep up with the
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| easy to please. There are those who,
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| | fishing season. And so, worms began
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| believe it or not, would demand a more
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| | materializing on virtually every hook
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| detailed explanation of such a theory, no
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| | around the globe. Then, in the
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| matter how logical it sounds. "How do a
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| | off-season, there were more worms than
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| bunch of worms," they would naively ask,
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| | hooks. So, the problem at that point was
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| "turn into the Long Island Railroad?"In
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| | storing these excess worms. This brought
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| spite of the absurdity of such
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| | about the invention of the can. So, you
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| skepticism, I offer the following
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| | see, the worm-train evolution began with
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| evidence which should render this theory
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| | the Big Bait. And the Big Bait began with
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| proven beyond a shadow of a doubt.Our
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| | a can of worms.Theories just don't come
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| archeologist friends went back to the
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| | any better than this.Josh Greenberger: A
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| same railroad yard and made some more
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| | computer consultant for over two decades,
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| astonishing discoveries. They lined up
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| | the author has developed software for
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| some of the old cars side by side and
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| | such organizations as NASA's Goddard
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| noticed how each car was slightly bigger
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| | Institute of Space Studies, AT&T, Charles
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| and better developed than the one before
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| | Schwab, Bell Laboratories and Chase
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| it. The car at one end had a highly
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| | Manhattan Bank. Since 1984, the author's
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| sophisticated and powerful air
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| | literary works have appeared in such
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| conditioning system, while the car at the
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| | periodicals as The New York Post, The
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| other end had not even a fan. The only
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| | Daily News, The Village Voice, The Jewish
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| trace of air conditioning found in one
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| | Press, and others. His articles have
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| underdeveloped car was the fossil of a
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| | ranged from humor to scientific to
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| conductor slapping an old woman with his
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| | topical events. Visit his site:
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| cap to create some air disturbance. (His
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| | shopndrop.
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| cap, incidentally, has been known to be
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